You Know You're Vietnamese When...

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You know you’re Vietnamese when…

Growing up Vietnamese is TOUGH, but at the same time, it’s AMAZING. I love speaking Vietnamese and understanding what goes on at nail salons.

And all the food? I am hella proud of our cuisine. Phở me up, son!

Being Vietnamese American comes with a lot of trauma (that never really goes away), but hey, it’s what makes us who we are and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Here are some things y’all might relate to if you grew up in America with Vietnamese parents.

You put Sriracha on EVERYTHING.
You eat phở (beef noodle soup) ANYTIME OF THE YEAR, even when it’s violently hot outside.
You also realize that not all phở is created equal. The best can be found in Houston and SoCal. Still, many places have great pho, but it’s not the best.
You had a bowl haircut. V embarassing…
You drink beer…with ICE. And it was typically a Heineken beer.
You use dầu xanh (green oil) to fix all your pains and aches. Covid begone! You gotta get the Eagle Brand though.
You plucked out your parents and friend’s gray hairs with tweezers. It was a pastime for us.
Your last name is: Tran, Nguyen, Pham, Huynh, Ho, Le, Ly, Duong, etc.
There’s the iconic Vietnamese broom in your home. IYKYK.
You got beat with a chổi lông gà (feather duster). Omg, this thing was painful. I am still traumatized as an adult.
You had to learn piano when you were younger.
We use the dishwasher as a drying rack.
We reused disposable plastic cups.
You have at least one friend or family member who owns a nail salon.
Your parents wanted you to be a doctor or at least marry one.
Your parents promised to hold onto your lì xì (Tết money) but instead used up all your money…to feed you. It was also usually crisp $2 bills. Do those still exist?
You watched WAY TOO MANY Paris By Night specials.
Your mom tells you how ugly and dumb you are but brags about your accomplishments to strangers and everyone else.
You drink Heineken, Henessey, or Remy VSOP.
You used to go clubbing every weekend. As an ABG, you would go out with the guys who’d buy tables and invite all the ladies to see big-name DJs like Kaskade, Dash Berlin, Zedd, etc.
Your parents always associate some unfavorable outcome to prevent you from doing something, such as “If you go to the movies, you might come home pregnant”
You have a drawer full of plasticware, straws, and napkins from fast food restaurants.
Your uncle or dad has a long pinky nail. And just one, not even on both hands. Like why? Ew.
You know someone with a Maltese or white pomeranian-looking dog.
Your family sounds like they’re arguing when they’re just catching up.
You helped dye your mom and auntie’s hair.
You ate all your food because you didn’t want “God to be upset.”
Your family lives in a multi-generational home, sometimes with cousins, and second cousins.
Your family has a New Year calendar they got for FREE from the Vietnamese grocery store.
Your parents stock up on toiletries to send to relatives back in Vietnam. And they would bring cashews back to the US.
You have the infamous and indestructible Vietnamese cleaver knife in your home.

Vietnamese Kitchen Knife

You played tiến lên (52 deck card game) and bầu cua cá cọp (gourd crab fish tiger).
Your parents were scared of black and Mexican people. Dating black people was out of the question.
There’s a flourishing garden in your backyard with kumquats, Thai chilis, oranges, limes, and more.
You try to barter (trả giá), even when the price is fixed.
Your family member(s) has a gambling problem.
You wear Armani Exchange, Express, Abercrombie & Fitch, BEBE, Guess, etc.

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A post shared by Alex – Travel Food Fashion Photography🌻🌎 (@schimiggy)

And before that, you wore Dickies or JNCO wide-leg denim jeans with baby tees, and tank tops.
You’re always criticized for your weight (too skinny or too fat).
Your mom has told you no one will want to marry “someone like you” at least 20 times in your life.
Your parents always watched dubbed Asian movies (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Thai, etc), but never understood (or tried to) American shows or movies.
You have a wedding with all the Vietnamese courses (jellyfish salad, sea anemone, sea cucumber, asparagus crab soup, garlic lobster, etc.) AND karaoke to end the night.
Your wedding will have 300+ people attending, and you only know 10% of them.
Your parents didn’t travel because it was a waste of money.
Vietnamese people are entrepreneurial as fuck. Many are successful business owners even after they spent money and years in college.
You have massive backyard parties and SO MUCH FOOD. I’m talking about a tray with 200 eggrolls, noodles, salad, etc. and the whole neighborhood was invited.
You grew up in Houston, SoCal/Orange County (Westminster or “Westminister”), San Jose, or Washington State (Tukwila).
You went to Vietnam and realized how little Vietnamese you actually know. And they’ll call you Việt kiều.
You traveled to Huế and couldn’t understand a lick of Huế.
You had to translate a lot for your parents. Eventually, your parents caught on but not without your help.
You went to college and either became a doctor, accountant, restauranteur, or nail salon owner. Congrats!